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My sister recently read my memoir. She suggested a follow-up book with stories that I did not include in Wacky on the Junk. I’ve been thinking about that idea. This story makes my teenagers look like a day in the park compared to teenage me.

My friend Audra frequently spent the night at my house. We go to a frat party. It was within walking distance of my house. We are having a great time. We get to my parent’s house at midnight on the dot. The party was in full force when we left. Audra wants to go back.  My bedroom is next to the garage. We go out to the garage roof, hang down the side and jump off.

Around three a.m. we return to my house, buzzed out of our minds. We didn’t think through getting back to my room very well. The house is locked. I say, “Let’s get the ladder out of the garage.”

Ladders and drunk people do not mix well. We expand the ladder up and it falls down, making all kinds of racket. Dad comes outside. “What in tarnation is going on here?” I say, “Audra and I couldn’t sleep so we came out to the front porch. Somehow, we locked ourselves out of the house.” Dad shakes his head like it’s the biggest bunch of poppycock he’s ever heard. Dad takes the ladder back to the garage which is probably the only time he carried a ladder to the garage at three a.m.